Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize