I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
