airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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