woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm always down for nudity.
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