i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
