just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
