; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
