That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
