Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
