Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
