This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
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Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
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There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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