there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
