Porn is love you can see.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
