thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
