just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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