this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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