everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
