She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
