do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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