Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
