found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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