Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I deserve this hangover.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize