People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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