So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You pole danced in your parka.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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