His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
