he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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