I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
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I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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