Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I have already put on my inside pants.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
