i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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