If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
