In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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