I'm going to jail i love you
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you would pick up someone in the library
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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