sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
