Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
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He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
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I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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