i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
i think my cat just said my name.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
