White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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