I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
