My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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