eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
