ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You were trust falling into bushes
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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