once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
