Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize