If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
love makes seman taste better
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
