you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
