Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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