He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
