Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
