So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
