I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize