First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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