The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
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decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
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If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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