I wanna passion pit in your ass
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
