i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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