He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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