Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
