Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
